Doubts, Story of my Life
- December 29, 2019
We all have dreams.
I have a dream
My heart yearns for change.
I want to make a change in my society and my environment.
I want to leave a mark in this world, a legacy that generations after me will benefit from.
I am educated, I am determined, I am prayerful, I am strong, I am passionate, and I have faith.
With all these characteristics, still I am disappointed time and time again, it’s heart breaking, depressing which leaves me tearful!
My tears don’t change my situation they just increase my pain, my tears remind me of my broken heart.
As the tears run down my eyes, my life flash before me as each drop of tears drips down my caramel skin.
I hear the voice in my head shout so many times why me? Why me? It hurts, I keep shouting it hurts. I desperately want the pain to go away.
I pray to God, I remind Him of His promises He has for His precious daughter.
Again, I hear the voice in my head “are you not precious enough for God” I try to shut that voice out, but it keeps screaming are you not precious enough?”
It hurts it hurts, I can’t breathe, all I want is for the pain to go and got me to be loved!
Then I hear a small silent voice in the midst of all the shouting in my head “everything works together for those who love God and who are called according to His purpose” you are born for great things. Your failure makes you stronger and an overcomer!
I want to believe this, but my past keeps flashing all I can see are my failed dreams. I cannot see past my failures.
My heart breaks into many pieces
My heart is broken
My heart is desperately crying to be mended
Would you and can you be the glue that repair and take away the pain, the failures and hurts?
I need you Lord, yes I need you!!